PonkaBlog

A Common Tongue

If I were going to sneak into a country, I’d have a check list of things I’d need to do before heading on my journey.  Pretty high up on that list would be to learn their language.  If I didn’t have the time or ability to do that, I’d figure out a way to make it a non-issue.  Most likely, I’d find someone who spoke both my language and theirs and I’d make him or her my best friend.

What I wouldn’t do is expect that the country I was sneaking into would provide me with whatever language assistance I needed.  After all, I would be there illegally so I shouldn’t expect any help at the expense of their taxpayers.

Pop Quiz:  What’s the official language of the United States?

Take a few seconds to answer.  Feel free to quietly hum the Jeopardy song.

OK.  If you said “English”, you would be wrong.  In fact, if you guessed any language, you would be wrong.  The United States has no official language.  Hard to believe, isn’t it?

Would you believe we have a national mammal?  Yup.  That’s right.  In 2016, after four years of work, the National Bison Legacy Act was signed, making the bison the national mammal of the United States. If I were going to make a list of things I wanted the government to spend four years, and countless dollars, working on, designating a national mammal wouldn’t even be in the top 100.

But, let’s get back to language.

Like I said, if I were in a country illegally, I’d expect to be on my own language-wise.  I wouldn’t expect their government to print forms in my native tongue.  I wouldn’t expect their government to mandate that companies provide me with translation services.  And yet we do both of those things.

Fact: The Website for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has documents that have been translated into 64 different languages. 

I received a notice from my insurance company the other day.  It contained two sheets of paper.  One sheet contained a list of instructions of how to get language assistance.  It was in various languages and covered both sides of the paper.  The second sheet in the envelope contained a short paragraph telling me that the government required them to send me the information on translation services.  That paragraph, however, was solely in English.

Think of all the money that was wasted designing, printing and mailing the document out to millions of people who read and speak English just fine.  Every cent of that expense is going to be passed on to policyholders.  Of those millions of mailings, how many do you think went to people who can’t communicate in English? 

Actually, I don’t care what the number is, because it should be zero.  Government-provided translations services are ridiculous.  We should not be helping people remain functionally illiterate.  We should be helping them learn English.

Fact: The California DMV provides interpreter services at no cost to applicants.  You can also take the written test in 31 different languages.

I think it’s well past the time when English should be made the official language of the United States.  If someone wants to be, live and work in the U.S., it’s their responsibility to learn the language.  It should be at the top of their list of things to do, as it would be mine in a similar situation.  Yet many people have lived here for decades and still can’t, or won’t, speak English.

As a taxpayer, I would rather we spend money providing free ESL (English as a Second Language) classes than assisting people who don’t speak English.  Teaching them English solves their problem forever, reading English for them only solves their problem for that particular day.  The government shouldn’t be giving people fish, the government should be teaching people how to fish.

Ah, I can hear you already.  You’re going to say that illegal aliens would be hesitant to attend classes because of fear of being deported.  To that, I say this:

Currently, seventeen states allow illegal aliens to acquire a driver’s license.  If we can figure out a way to give drivers’ licenses to people who are in this country illegally, then we should be able to figure out a way to teach them English.

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Mike is just an average guy with a lot of opinions. He's a big fan of facts, logic and reason and uses them to try to make sense of the things he sees. His pronoun preference is flerp/flop/floop.