PonkaBlog

Kamala Crossing

Have you ever noticed how sometimes your brain makes you see things that aren’t really there?  You know, you’ll get a quick glance at something and then your brain fills in the missing parts.  Sometimes what you actually did see isn’t even close to what you thought you saw.  Other times it’s spot on.

Years ago, before phones had cameras, I was driving through a small Massachusetts town with my wife and son.  I happened to glance in my side mirror and thought I saw a traffic sign that didn’t look quite right. 

I couldn’t stop because I had an impressionable young boy with me (you’ll understand in a minute) but I had to know if I was imagining things.  So, I drove home, which was about five miles away, grabbed my camera and went back to the scene, hoping that I saw what I thought I saw, and that it was still there.

It turned out that I did see what I thought I saw, and it was, indeed, still there.  That day was the second luckiest day of my life.  The luckiest day of my life was the day I found a discarded boarding pass in the seat pocket in front of me for “Michael Hunt” (ask someone to explain it to you).

I’ve been saving that photo for almost 20 years, not quite knowing what to do with it.  Today is the day I put it to good use.

Hold that thought. We’ll get back to it in a minute.

Show of hands…who remembers Dan Quayle.  Dan wasn’t the brightest light in the hall.  Remember that time he corrected a student’s spelling of “potato”?  With cameras rolling, Dan “helped” the student by suggesting he add an “e” to make it “potatoe”. 

I used to think Dan Quayle was the stupidest Vice President I’d ever seen.  Well, at the time I guess he was.  But now, we have a new titleholder.  Kamala Harris.

Kamala has an annoying habit of cackling with laughter every time she’s hit with a question.  I almost said “tough question”, but the specific question being asked doesn’t seem to have any impact on her level of cackliness.  Or, maybe that’s cacklinicity.  Whatever.  The point is, she maniacally laughs at nearly every question posed to her.

Then there’s her logic.  Kamala is supposedly in charge of solving the illegal immigration problem.  When asked recently why she hasn’t bothered to visit the border with Mexico, she replied that she hadn’t been to Europe either.  Somehow, in that tiny little brain of hers, not having been to Europe is justification for not going to see firsthand a problem she’s supposed to be fixing.

So, how did someone as stupid as Kamala Harris get to be Vice President of the United States?  That’s an easy question to answer.  Kamala got her start in the early 1990’s by being the mistress of a married California politician named Willie Brown.  He was 60 and she was 29.  Apparently she was playing the long game. 

Let me tell you something. I’ll be 60 this month, and I can say without a doubt that there is no 29-year-old waiting in line to be my mistress.  There are only three things that can get a 29-year-old to become the mistress of a 60-year-old.  Since being hung like a horse doesn’t seem to be the main motivator, it must one of the two things I don’t have: money and power.

They “dated” for a year. Sometime later, Brown appointed Kamala to The California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and then to the Medical Assistance Commission.  In short, Willie gave Kamala (there has to be a joke here) her head start in politics.

And, since Kamala brings no qualifications to the table other than being black-ish, I think we can safely assume that she has continued to use willies (ah, there it is) to advance her career in politics. 

And that explains how Kamala got to be Vice President.  Because it clearly wasn’t her brains. 

Kamala got to where she is because she spent so much time on her knees.  There are three things typically done while kneeling, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t praying or scrubbing the floor.

60-year-old Willie used 29-year-old Kamala to get head.  And 29-year-old Kamala used 60-year-old Willie to get ahead.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings us back to my traffic sign.  Let’s call it a “Kamala Crossing” sign.

Here it is:

A Kamala Crossing sign is used to indicate the path one takes when they trade sexual favors for political advancement.

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Mike is just an average guy with a lot of opinions. He's a big fan of facts, logic and reason and uses them to try to make sense of the things he sees. His pronoun preference is flerp/flop/floop.