A couple months after the George Floyd riots in Minneapolis, I had to travel to Minnesota. For me to get to Minnesota, I had to leave my house for LAX at 3:00 in the morning, drive to the airport, park my car, take a shuttle to the terminal, go through security, get to my gate and then wait around until my flight boarded.
After a four-hour flight, and after I claimed my baggage and found my rental car, I still had a two-and-a-half-hour drive to get to where I ultimately wanted to go.
The fastest way to get to my destination would be to take the freeway through downtown Minneapolis. Well, normally that would be the fastest way.
While nobody was rioting about George Floyd anymore, they were still pissed about some imagined slight. I don’t even remember what it was anymore. And the way they typically showed their level of pissed-off-ness in Minneapolis, because they had already destroyed pretty much everything that would burn, was to walk their group onto the freeway and stop traffic.
After traveling for nearly 10 hours, and having another 2+ hours to go, I had no interest in being stuck waiting for who knows how long for them to get tired and go home. So, I took a route that’s less direct, but it would also keep me well away from Minneapolis. I figured it would probably add another 30 minutes to my drive.
At least that’s what I thought.
Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
Because of the time zone change, I ended up leaving the rental car parking lot at about 3:30 in the afternoon, which is just about the time the afternoon rush starts. Nobody else wanted to drive through downtown Minneapolis either. Which meant that everyone else was using the same alternate route as I was and traffic was a mess.
My estimated 30-minute detour ended up being more like an hour-and-a-half detour. And I was still two hours away from where I needed to be.
I have no idea what they were protesting that day. The only thing I remember is that those assholes wasted 90 minutes of my life.
Since that day, anytime I see a demonstration, riot or “mostly peaceful protest” block traffic or otherwise be a pain in the ass, I’m automatically against whatever made up thing they’re upset about.
The best they’ll ever get from me is apathy. What’s more likely is that I’ll donate to whoever is taking the other side of their argument.
Get out of the way!
Four years later, the Left is still using the same playbook when it comes to how they display their displeasure about whatever it is that somehow offends them.
I doubt that any of them are serious about being an agent of change. Because if they were serious, they’d go about things in an entirely different way.
Now, anyone who has listened to what I have to say about…well…anything…isn’t likely to be blocking traffic or looting Targets. But maybe you have friends who are. If you do, feel free to pass this along to them.
As a public service, I’m going to explain the best way to get people to listen to your message. Because what you’re doing now just isn’t working.
First of all, your protest/riot shouldn’t inconvenience anyone else. You don’t get to decide that your cause is more important than someone else’s time. As I mentioned above, if you block me from getting to where I want to go, the only thing I’m going to remember about your cause is that you blocked me from getting to where I wanted to go.
That’s it. I’m not going to remember why you’re for or against the thing you’re for or against. Whenever I hear the name of your cause, I’m going to remember how I felt when you and your faux-angry band of assholes decided to waste my time. And I’m going to be pissed.
GLIBTAQs for Palestine
Second, make sure that whatever you’re protesting or supporting is real and makes sense. For example, if you happen to be a GLIBTAQ, and you’re demonstrating in support of Hamas, or if you’re anyone demonstrating for Hamas, then you are an idiot. If you’re protesting a king who doesn’t exist. Then you are a moron.
I realize that these stupid things that you’re protesting/rioting either for or against makes sense to you, but as we’ve already determined, you’re not in your right mind. If you want reasonable people to support your cause, then it must make sense to reasonable people.
It turns out you can judge a book by its cover
Third, if you believe so strongly in whatever cause you’re supporting, or protesting against, that you’re willing to disrupt everyone else’s life, then show your damn face. When you’re walking around with your face covered, how am I supposed to take you seriously? I can’t.
I assume you’re also on social media tossing out ridiculous comments while hiding behind an anonymous username. Let me fill you in on a little secret. I don’t care about your opinion there and I don’t care about your opinion when you’re hiding behind a mask.
The only assumption I can make is that you’re too embarrassed to let others know you support whatever stupid thing you’re using to justify your riot.
If you won’t even publicly admit to supporting your cause, why in the world would you expect me to? You claim to be so passionate about your cause, but not enough to let people know that you personally support it?
I understand why police won’t show their faces. It’s because if they do then people like you will put their families at risk. But the only people who are doxing people they disagree with are the people you agree with. You have no reason to assume that you’d be in danger should your face be seen. Unless you’re afraid of your own people.
Break your own shit
And finally, here’s something important to remember.
Any anonymous idiot or asshole can destroy someone else’s property. Throwing rocks or setting cars on fire or looting doesn’t impress me. It’s a dick move. If you want to really show how much you believe in what you’re saying, then destroy your own shit.
This is what you should do: Drive your car to the middle of some wide-open area, fill it with your cell phone, iPad, clothes, bike and whatever else you own, and set it on fire. Or, better yet, drop your stuff off at a local charity.
Show everyone that you’re willing to suffer, not just make someone else suffer on your behalf. Losing your own property is a much stronger statement than destroying someone else’s. Besides, how can anyone believe you’re there to support your cause when we see you running out of Target carrying a new flat screen TV?
I realize that if there’s a hundred people at a protest and if only two of them start destroying things, then, technically, that is a “mostly-peaceful protest”. But anyone standing there watching and cheering them on while they set cars on fire is part of the problem.
The very instant that something is damaged, or something is thrown at police, or traffic is blocked, you should turn around and go home. That will show the rest of us just how serious you are about being part of a peaceful protest.
Crib notes…
I know that’s a lot to keep in mind when you get the urge to loot a Target. So, I’m going to make it easier for you to remember. These four simple rules are guaranteed to make your protests 53% more effective:
- Don’t be an idiot.
- Don’t be a dick.
- Don’t be anonymous.
- Don’t be an asshole.
If that’s still too much for you to remember, then just focus on the last one. And try not to be an asshole.
One last note…
I noticed that some of the emails I’m sending you have bounced. If you’ve signed up for my newsletter, and you’re not receiving them, be sure to check your spam folder.
